MORNING GLORY

You know it’s going to be a good day when you’ve woken up bright and early in the morning, or in my case, not slept at all… the early morning mist is a splendid thing, and oh so rejuvenating. I love to go for my morning walks whenever I’m in the mood to, and today happened to be one of those days—the sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and I was smiling… remember that scene from American Beauty where the guy says he was happy or something right before he gets shot in the head, and there’s that smile on his face, a smile of contentment—that’s how I was feeling, and so I threw on my jogging slacks and a Tshirt, and drove up to the nature reserve right next door to go and walk.

Parked the car and entered the gate, and what’s the first thing I see, but this really suave elderly gentleman walking his dog… and not just any dog, no, this was your true-blue Siberian Husky… beautiful sight really, to see the both of them out there, the guy with his cut of Silver Hair and his dog with his own silvery-blackish mane. Next were the peacocks… this park has quite a few of those (India’s National Bird I think) and you can always hear them ((I don’t know what you call it, cawing?, maybe)) whenever you’re walking past the exterior walls: and for a guy who rarely gets to hear stuff like this, I have to stop for awhile and just listen… it’s amazing.

And then of course there had to be the women… so beautiful and pretty to look at, but I couldn’t really look just glance when they were far away—but it was enough to know that they were beautiful… I mean, you have to be to wake up so early in the morning (what, I think it was 6, 6:30 at the time) and these femme fatales were already out working, doing their best to stay in shape. I thought I’d do something fun today, and actually count the no. Of wonderful Women I’d be passing, and you know what, I had to give up after the first 14; there were just too many of them, but I enjoyed my walk though, and the birds (((peacocks that is—get your mind out of the gutter, will you???))).

I then reached the end and turned around and walked the way back… there usually are a helluva lot of cool cars to keep you company when you’re there, and the Jaguar happened to be parked there a couple of days ago, and as luck would have it—I happened to have my camera at the time, and there was no way that I was going to let an opportunity like this pass me by… how often do you get to see a JAG, in the flesh that too—wish that’s me sitting behind the steering wheel some day. No, wait, I’d much rather be planted in one of these, oh yeah!

Anyway, what I wanted to talk about was what happened after I came home, and my mom and I were sitting around chewing the fat… I don’t know how permanent it is, or premature to be talking about this, but it was only a couple of months ago that I’d said I’d figured out that what I had to be doing with myself was to NOT be falling in love with women all of the time… well, that plan sure got shot to hell pretty fast, didn’t it. But then after weeks and weeks and weeks of deliberating, and turning, tweaking and cajoling, I have now come to the realization that it is an impossibility for me to not fall in love with the object of my affections.

But do you want to hear the good news—I have finally come full circle. Before, I’d be so glued to this other human being, that there would be nothing that would prevent me from being encapsulated by her… but not so now. Now, I’ve finally found what it was that I was searching for, that thing that would hold me and everything else together again… and I thought it would be her, along with my writing of course, but she’d be playing a major role in it. And I think that’s where I was so wrong… you see, I have this good friend who I always used to ask how she could survive for all these years, alone, without anyone—and she’d always tell me that she was alone, maybe, but she never felt lonely… she had loads of other things to do, one of which was her job, and I’d always wonder how much of truth there was to that: to be substituting love for work, I mean, what kind of a life is that??

Well, be careful what you’ve wished for, because I just found out after I realized how it was that I was going to work on my book, how I’d start it, finish it, and what all would come in the middle. And that’s what would always worry me from the start, to the extent that I’d try and dump it on someone else and then expect them to be my savior… when all I needed was a little motivation to get myself started, a little bit of a push, and now that I’m on my way—I hope I don’t stop.