Something new: I used to listen to it and love it, especially because of the fact that my name is Daanish (and my mom calls me danny ((boy)) for short sometimes) and they use it in the lyrics, and it’s like its being sung just for me, and I love that. This as well…I’m very passionate about movies, of course, you know that right—and no, not any of that shitty tripe that they try to pass of as cinema nowadays, but the spectacular stuff that makes you glad to be alive… and I’m not talking about only the masterpiece kind of theater either, but just your regular out-of-this-world stuff as well, like the movie that had this line which was the whole soul of the film I felt: “Why do we fall Bruce… so we can learn to pick ourselves up again.” Ahhh, the brilliance—who knew Christopher Nolan could be so poetic… at least I think Nolan was the author of that script.
Right, so what was it this time, sigh (((are you as tired of this as I am by now, and you’ve just heard/read a measly post or two of mine every couple of times it happens, and me—yeah, I had the pleasure of diving into this feces relentlessly for ages, face-first that too)))… I think it was the post that I had made about me being taken advantage of by that Saudi guy that did it this time. I thought everyone was feeling sorry for me now, at first, and then laughing at me for admitting to something like this. And then feeling sorry for me for admitting to something as laughable as this. That really started to put a rain on my parade… and as if that wasn’t enough, we were hitting a few bumps in the road to getting our new place.
And then, to make matters even more worse, [I] started to feel sorry for myself, so ended up replying to everyone the next day from Metachat who had bothered giving me their words on my posts about something or the other that I’d posted after the whole Saudi debacle… and I felt like a shit for having done what I’d done by sending out those mails. I hate the world sometimes; if you love something that someone’s done for you, then you’re going to have to think a hundred times before you actually come right out and say it, if you don’t know that person… and even then, you won’t be able to, not the way you would’ve liked to. (Friends of Metachat, hi, I really appreciated what you had to tell me, so thanks a lot for being so gracious, it meant a lot to me). Instead of acting like a total weirdo and creeping everybody out, damn, I’m sorry—I don’t mean to be so insane sometimes, at least not intentionally, and whenever I’m doing it—I never stop to realize that that is exactly what I’m doing.
So that was strike one and two right there, and then, she came into the picture. God, where are you when I need you, why can’t you ever be there for me??? And here I am doing all of this for you… sure, I guess I’m doing it for me too, and then my mom and dad of course, but if the idea of walking into you someday wasn’t at the top of my head every waking moment of my life, I don’t think I could’ve had the motivation to do what I do. I need you, I love you, I want you… and it’s not like I haven’t been working on getting better myself. Because, I’m back down to a turn-around rate of 5 to 6 days now; that’s how many days I was down for this time, give or take another day or two, and was up for the rest of the month (2 in fact this time) so I’m definitely making progress.
Also, there was this car parked outside my gate today, right in front of it when I’d come back from the mall, and I couldn’t really turn into my driveway because of it, so I had to put it in reverse and position it in such a way that it was now facing the gate and I could drive in, and as I’m about to take the car in, I notice that there’s someone sitting in the car, and he’s getting out of the driver’s seat, and he’s acting like he hasn’t done anything wrong… and usually that would’ve started to make my blood boil, because when I first came here, I was such an innocent fool that I’d do EVERYTHING according to the rules, and still be taken advantage of left, right and center—and so after suffering years of this torture, I started to overcompensate with the idiots of the road at least, not counting the ass who hit me with the car—but you know something, this time I decided to take a different approach and stay cool, and just told the guy: Hello, do you know that your car’s blocking my gate, to which he said “oh no, I just came, and madam will be out in a few minutes” to which I said, okay, that’s fine, you can park the car here if you want, but just move it a couple of inches forward so that I can at least get my car inside, and since I’ve already turned the car around, you don’t need to move your car now, but remember it for next time. And he said sure, and it was great; I felt great.
And you know what it reminded me of—that scene from Blue Valentine—have you guys seen that yet… please, please do, if you haven’t. I love Ryan Gosling. I think he’s the best actor of my age that’s out there right now (I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget Drive anytime soon, and will probably have to dedicate an entire post to it sooner or later). There’s a scene in Blue V., like every other scene in the movie, which was so memorable to me (for obvious reasons) because it reminded me of not only my own manic sides, that Ryan goes through in the film back and forth (sometimes he’s the romantic lead trying to court Michelle) and then he’s a monster who just doesn’t give a damn in the second half of the film, when he and Michelle decide to get married for the sake of the unborn baby Williams’ is carrying… ((quick question, is the baby Ryan’s, because I saw both of them fooling around, but then she did end up having sex with that other guy before him, so I thought Ryan was being a real gentleman on that front)).
No doubt he was behaving like a real asshole on all the others though, I’ll give you that, but to see how much of love there is between him and the girl (that’s just about the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen on screen till date… not counting Maddie, my own niece Zara, and I’m sure ThePinkSuperhero is going to surprise us all pretty soon…) I can’t help but feel that they might, just might be able to make it—I hope. (((I have so much more to write, and I don’t know if and when I’ll be putting it up here ((I’d told a friend of mine that I wouldn’t be posting on fb any more just yesterday, and then after sending her the message I saw Brigitte’s post and it had you know who on it, so how could I resist… and then there was another post of another friend of mine, and she has the most beautiful baby daughter too, and she was looking fantastic as well, so I had to reply to her too, and then there was Victoria of course—the apple of my eye, heart, the only woman who kisses me—lol.)) So, until next time…)))
